Confident people cultivate certain habits, and these can help to bolster their confidence in themselves and in the things they do. They have an incredible belief in their own ability – hell if you don’t believe in yourself, why should anyone else put their faith in you?
By the same token, they also avoid certain habits which are not conducive to confidence, or which serve to actively undermine their ability to be confident.
Some things that confident people avoid doing – and which you should consider avoiding if you want to be more confident too – include:
Comparing Themselves to Others
Comparing yourself and your achievements to those of others is never really a good idea let’s be honest.
If confidence in yourself is not something that comes naturally to you, it is especially important to avoid such comparisons as you will be naturally biased against yourself and towards them creating a vicious circle that can seriously hinder your ability to be confident.
The rise of social media has made it even easier to measure yourself against other people’s lives, but this is the worst context in which to fall into this trap.
People share positives on social media more readily than negatives, which means you are constantly comparing your whole life against only the best bits of others which they chosen to show. And this is summed up perfectly by a recent quote I read:
“The reason some of us struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel”
Trying to Please Everyone
This is closely linked to the previous point. People who lack confidence often put a lot of emphasis on the needs of others, to a degree which is detrimental to themselves rather than merely being kind or generous.
The route of this is a wish to be thought well of and not to tread on people’s toes At the end of the day, however, it is true to say that if you try to please everybody you will end up pleasing nobody.
Confident people have no interest in pleasing every person they meet – they are aware that not all people get along and that’s just how life works.
Have the confidence to leave some people unpleased when the needs of others must take priority, focus on quality relationships rather than quantity.
A confident person will rarely if ever make excuses for themselves. They will accept the things they can’t do, take responsibility for the things they can and can’t do, and accept ownership of their own mistakes (after all, everybody does make mistakes from time to time).
Being confident means learning to be comfortable with your own abilities and your own limitations without needing to go out of your way to make excuses.
And any short-comings you will rarely hear excuses like “I’m just not good enough” or “I don’t have time” – they make the time and keep on improving until they are good enough.
Dwelling on Mistakes
Though confident people may take ownership of their own mistakes, they do not dwell on them excessively and allow themselves to be dragged down in the future.
A common yet very true and valuable saying is that you should learn from your mistakes and then move on.
And this is exactly what confident people do so damn well.
They take in the lessons that their mistakes teach but do not allow their confidence or self-image to be dragged down by them. They know that failure is an unavoidable (and important) part of the growth process.
Staying in Their Comfort Zone
Confident people are willing to step outside their comfort zone, as they know this is a place where dreams die, while those who lack confidence will obviously be much less comfortable doing so and will tend to stay where they feel most at home.
They rarely let fear dominate their lives.
Stepping outside of your comfort zone is a great way to make progress, however, and is definitely something that should be done.
What’s more, if you lack confidence at the moment there are few better ways to build it up than to step beyond your comfort zone and surprise yourself with your own abilities whether be leaving a job you hate or taking up a new hobby.
Confidence doesn’t come when you have all the answers. But it comes when when you are ready to face all the questions…
How confident are you? Give yourself a score in the comments below.